BEP Round 3 Day 4

6:35am O:5 P:4 N:6 T:4
Pretty bad start for the day, fingers hurt more than yesterday and using them is even worse.  Blowing my nose went from some light pink yesterday to full on  blood today.  I just tried not to blow my nose much.  Stomach is not happy but I expected that to happen by now, Thursday is the start of the down hill slip for many days.

9:35am O:4 P:4 N:5 T:6
Pre-meds down, taking a bit longer to kick in to push down the nausea... once they do I will try and eat something.  I have the old familiar feeling of "Starving, but can't stomach anything I want to eat".  However, we did an ice pack on my fingers and that really seemed to help they don't ache as much at rest and using them isn't as bad either.  Not sure how long it will last but its nice to have the relief while I have it.

12:00am O:2 P:2 N:3 T:7
Still very tired, benadryl is of course taking its toll. 2/3rds of the way through the Etoposide and overall I feel better.  Not great mind you but my fingers are better I guess from that cold compress I can pinch things between them and it only hurts it doesn't shoot fire through them and make me have to stop immediately so that's good.  We solved that Zofran issue with the insurance and they finally agreed to give me enough to last the rest of the week.  Blows me away that Insurance companies put up so much fight for things Drs prescribe for good reason!!  I ate a whole thing of zapped brown/wild rice.  Granted it had nothing on it, but just getting some calories into me made me feel better hopefully I can get something bigger in my stomach later today we have lots of iron rich things at the house I need to get in me to boost my Hemo/Red blood cells before Monday.

9:00pm O:5 P:1 N:4 T:7
So have been passing out off and off all day, just super drained the build up of 3 rounds of Chemo is really taking its toll on me that much is obvious.  I have been able to eat some here and there, not sure if I got 100% of the calories I should have today but my stomach is still not doing so hot.
I didn't get any work done, unfortunately aside from a few emails.  I can't really "think" clearly enough right now to focus on things.  My head hurts, and my body aches if I were to describe it I would say its a "Friday" feeling so that worries me about tomorrow.  After tomorrow I still have to live through the crappy fall out days of the weekend and next week as my body trys to come up and out of this onslaught of chemicals.  I haven't had any more blood from my nose tonight, and my fingers seem "better" I think the ice packing is helping at least for a temp solution.  Typing does inflame my fingers a bit though they are more sensitive and painful after typing for a few minutes like writing these blogs but its not too bad.

Sorry I didn't get a picture today but it wasn't a great day and I just forgot I will try and get a "Victory" one tomorrow over the last hell week (or at least my hope is that its the last hell week)

This is the comment I keep running over in my mind:
My AFP was 27, and my HCG was <1 which is amazing.  That shows the treatment is not only working but really whooping up on the cancer because that's lower than my projected half-life decay so it must really be doing great!  I am hoping that after this round all my numbers are down in the "normal" range and my PET/CT come out clear with either <1cm nodes or some dead scar tissue we can monitor.  Surveillance is the word I am looking for out of my Doctor and its the word I am hoping for as a result of all of this.  So I can focus on getting back to normal and not like I am right now.

Good night all, hopefully tomorrow holds no new surprises... and for work I am probably going to have to charge most of next week off to "Sick" time unfortunately but I will try my best to get up and running ASAP I put a lot of pride into my work (It is after all about returning mankind to Space flight!)  and it pains me to let things slip!